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Just wanted to drop this quick note to let you know that, as of 7:40 AM on June 7th, I am back in the saddle again. And, by saddle, I mean a trusty Abena Abri-Form S2. This will mark the start of my 6-day attempt and there'll be a full post tomorrow morning with the details for Day 1.

First diaper of my second attempt.

Restarting?

Since almost 1,000 of you have come to look at my blog (or at least one of you has come here 1,000 times), I feel somewhat responsible to let you know what became of my 24/7 attempt.

I knew going into it that it wouldn't last forever, that I would never be 24/7 full-time. At the same time, I was expecting to last more than three days.

Honestly, I was not in the best emotional place at the end of the third day and as I went to change before going to bed, I decided to put the diapers on the shelf instead. There were nuisances about being 24/7 for sure. Messing requires a lot of extra work, for one. Temperature control and awkward social interactions are added obstacles. But, even all of those things added up didn't cause me to temporarily quit my 24/7 attempt.

To be able to handle those obstacles, I just needed to be happier than I was three days ago. I'm starting to get back into a place where I think I can handle it again. Instead of going 24/7 for an indefinite amount of time, I think I'd like to set a more realistic goal for this blog. Let me explain.

I made it for 72 hours on my first attempt. I'd like to double the length of my attempts each time but I will take breaks in between the attempts. When I'm on an attempt, I will still post nightly. When I'm off, I will post little entries like this one explaining where I'm at with diapers.

This means that my next attempt will be 6 days, then 12 days, then 24 days, then 48 days. I can't imagine going much longer than 48 days at the moment so I'm just going to re-assess if I ever get that far.

Of course, receiving comments (thank you, Joe!) will motivate me to make and write about these attempts. In the future, if this blog acquires a larger readership, I could foresee including some sort of interactive element where commenters can prolong the time I spend in diapers. Let me know what you all think.

For now, I'm targeting Monday, June 11th as the start of my 6-day run. But I might start sooner. Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

Day 3

Tools of the trade: Abena Abri-Form S2s

Day 3:
1:30 AM on June 2nd - 1:30 AM on June 3rd

The Day in Diapers:
Number of changes: 5
Status at change time: wet, wet/messy, wet, wet/messy, wet
Estimated cost for the day: $5.06
Kinds of diapers used: 4 Tranquility ATNs and one Abena Abri-Form S2

Journal:
I'm settling into a routine.

I had to change once before bedtime into a dry Tranquility ATN (which stands for All Through the Night for those not in the know). True to its name, I wore it all through the night. Like I mentioned yesterday, I think I prefer them to the Abenas but I am right on the upper limit of the small size and I'm thinking mediums would be a better fit.

As usual, I had to mess in the morning and the Tranquility ATN handled that situation adequately. Cleanup was less arduous than past days but I, of course, felt like I needed a shower afterwards anyway.

I spent the rest of the day in Tranquility ATNs and, as I suspected, their better odor control makes it much more pleasant to sit in them until they're used to capacity. This means less diapers per day and therefore less cost over time. These are the kinds of things that people who are doing this full-time must have to grapple with. Before I started this experiment, a diaper was a diaper. All I cared about was that it was white, fluffy, crinkly and that I could pee in it. But now I'm starting to become a diaper connoisseur, reading about things like wicking, absorbency in mL, odor control, tape style, etc. The differences can be substantial and different diapers seem better suited for different purposes. If I did this full-time it seems like I'd need to have a bunch of different brands in my collection.

The only complication today was that I had to mess again in the afternoon. The first two days I only had to mess once in the morning before I showered. Today, I had to mess and I didn't want to shower again so I cleaned up really well and got back into a dry Tranquility ATN. It makes you really resent your body's digestive system, huh? It would be nice if I could count on just the one morning cleanup. It might even be worth all the time it saves in pee trips to the bathroom! But then you've gotta go number two in the middle of the day and it can really bring you down.

Observations:
*Today was a weird and ambivalent day. There were moments where this almost felt completely normal. "This is just my underwear now," I would think. "I pee in it but it's just my new underwear." And then there were moments where I was sure this would be the last day. Who knows? I'll have to change again before I go to bed tonight and the temptation is getting pretty great to just take it off, clean up and fall asleep in boxer shorts again. But still, I'll probably look at that nice stack of fluffy white diapers and think, "Why not?" If you're following this blog (and a few of you are) I guess you'll find out tomorrow night.

*I feel weird when I wake up after sleeping through the night in a diaper. I'm worried about temperature control. I might need to find a thinner, cooler diaper for overnight but I'd have to change out of it in the morning for sure. Then again, if I get too used to this, I might need a thicker diaper for overnight in case I have an accident after this experiment concludes.

*I know a few hundred people found my blog on the first day. I'm hoping at least a few of you check back. I know it takes blogs months to find an audience but if you're reading this now, this is an ongoing process, and I would really love to have your feedback, comments, suggestions and encouragement. You can comment anonymously! For those of you who fantasize about going 24/7, I'm hoping that this blog can be an honest exploration of what it can be like to put those fantasies to the test. For those of you who are 24/7 by choice, I'm hoping that this blog can inspire nostalgia for your first steps and I invite your suggestions. For those of you who are incontinent, I'm hoping that, by doing this blog, I'll come to a greater understanding of your situation.

Day 2

Day 2:
1:30 AM on June 1st - 1:30 AM on June 2nd

The Day in Diapers:
Number of changes: 6
Status of diapers at change time: wet, wet, wet/messy, wet, wet, wet
Estimated cost for the day: $6.50
Kinds of diapers used: 3 Depends Maximum Protection, One Abena Abri-Form S2, Two Tranqulity ATNS

Journal:
Before I went to bed last night, I spent some time in a Depends just to breathe a little bit before I strapped into an Abena for overnight. Like I did on the first day, I did the tapes on the Abena so that I could wake up still "pointing down" and it worked again. So it seems like I have solved that problem pretty definitively. For men who actually have no bladder control, that must be a serious problem.

The day itself was largely uneventful. My Tranquility ATNs came early, so that was a surprise. As I expected, they have much better odor control than the Abenas which is necessary for me when I try to get the most out of each diaper. The fit was a little tight, though, so I'm thinking I'll move up to a medium after I burn through the bag of smalls.

I had to wear some Depends because I was out with a friend for dinner tonight and both the Abenas and the Tranquilities are far too crinkly for me to move around in without someone noticing I have a diaper on. How do 24/7 people do it? Do all their friends know that they wear? I had to covertly change a Depends in the bathroom but, other than that, they worked fine for some little wettings.

When I got home, I changed right back into a fresh Tranquility ATN which I'm still in as I write this post. I feel like I'm starting to settle into a routine.

Observations:
*I'm much more attuned now to my body's digestive processes. In the past, I haven't really paid much attention to when I go. Now I'm starting to notice the patterns namely, needing to mess about 1 hour after waking up. Sorry if that's too much information.

*It seems like I'll burn through about 6 diapers a day going 24/7. That would mean that a month of diapers would probably cost me around $200 all told. Finances might prevent me from going that long. It's staggering to think about that cost over years of my life. This must be why people do cloth diapers.

*At around 11 PM tonight, I had my first thought of giving up. I realize I'm only 2 days in but I just felt like throwing in the towel right then. If you're out there and you're reading this blog (and I know from my traffic reports that many of you are), then leave me a comment, question or note of encouragement. Right now, I'll be happy if I can make it to a week.

Day 1

Day 1:

1:30 AM on May 31st - 1:30 AM on June 1st

The Day in Diapers:

Number of changes: 6

Status of diapers at change time: All wet, third one was messy too.

Estimated cost for the day: $5.76

Kinds of diapers used: 6 Abena Abri-Form S2s, One Depends Maximum Protection

Journal:

I made it to the end of the first 24 hours! I wet about two Abena S2s to capacity this afternoon. I feel like I pee more when I wear diapers but maybe I'm just more conscious of it. In any event, I'd like to reduce the total number of changes per day for expense reasons but I also want to pee when I have to pee.

I was expecting a houseguest at around 10 PM tonight, so I wanted to have a fresh diaper on when she arrived so I could be inconspicuous about wearing. I'm concerned about the odor. But my last Abena for the afternoon was soaked through around 9 PM so I needed a stopgap diaper for about an hour. I whipped out a super flimsy Depends which was able to withstand the wetting between 9 and 10. When my houseguest arrived, I was fresh, clean and odorless and the evening passed without incident.

I'm still in the Abena I wore for her visit but I've wet it a few times now and I'll definitely have to change before I go to sleep for the night.

Observations:

*In the past, I've only worn diapers when I can sit around the house and do nothing but now that I'm attempting to go 24/7 for a bit, I'm realizing what it's like to have a big, bulky diaper on while you actually do stuff, whether outside or around the house. Today, for instance, I cleaned my bathroom - toilet, sink and shower - all while in a fairly wet Abena. Having a diaper on for all of that can be a pain in the butt - literally!

*Abena makes a nice, thick disposable but it has pretty terrible odor control. Sometimes I want to change even when I'm not all the way wet just because it smells bad but then I remember that these little babies are costing me 96 cents a pop. I've heard that Tranquility has better odor control, so I'll put that to the test when I get my sample pack on Saturday. If Tranquility works as well and smells better, I might invest in a case of 100 for my 24/7 attempt.

*I have to take my trash out to the apartment complex dumpster A LOT more frequently now that I'm wearing diapers all the time. You don't want to keep soiled diapers in your house for very long so it looks like, at least once a day, I'm stuck walking a big, heavy bag of diapers out to the dumpster. This is not the most glamorous part of being 24/7.

*When I change after a shower, I need to really dry off down there before I hop in a diaper or else it feels pretty icky to put on a new one.

*For now, despite the annoyances I've encountered so far, it was still an amazing day. I did not use the toilet at all today. It feels pretty amazing to think that I could just abandon it completely but I'm sure I still have a lot to learn about being 24/7. It's a fantasy, sure, but we don't always want to live out everything we fantasize about. At the moment, I'm loving this fantasy. But that's what this challenge is for - to push me to my limits in order to discover the point at which the cost, cleanup, and nuisances of being 24/7 cause me to break.

Day 0

I've loved wearing and wetting diapers ever since I can remember but - as is the case with most DLs - I have had to hide the habit throughout my life. It's only been in recent years that I've been able to wear openly in my own space and to be able to actually change into a new diaper after wetting the first.

I've fantasized about being kept in diapers 24/7 for some time but now I'm in a situation where I can actually try to stay in diapers 24/7 and see how long I can last before I break down and re-visit the toilet. So I decided to put my fantasies to the test and keep this journal in order to record details on things like changes, costs, etc. and to record my feelings as I go through this process.

Here are the tools of the trade so far:

Abena Abri-Form S2s.
I have a 31" waist which leaves me right on the edge between small and medium sizes. The leg tapes on these diapers can be a bit tight, but they fit me better than the Abena medium size and, as an added bonus, are much less expensive per diaper. I'm looking into switching over to Tranquility ATNs for odor control and I have a pack of 10 on the way to test them out.

Baby Wipes and Powder
Going 24/7 means going through a lot of wipes, especially after messing (more on that in a moment). So I have a big tub of Abena wipes on the way too to replace the grocery store, Pampers ones I have been using to tide me over thus far. I'm using Johnson & Johnson cornstarch baby powder because I read something about talc falling out of favor recently.

While I reserve the right to change the format as the blog progresses, each post will follow this format.

- An initial overview of statistics for the day:
# of diapers used
each diaper's state at time of changing: (wet, messy, wet/messy, dry)
total cost of diapers for the day

- Journal format account of the day in diapers.

Since I haven't been in diapers for the full 24 hours yet, I wanted to share some initial thoughts on getting started. At 1:30 AM on June 1st, I'll create a full post that will establish the format.

Journal:

I started at 1:30 AM on March 31st. I put on one of my trusty S2s and bid farewell to the toilet for the foreseeable future. When I wear diapers, I wet frequently because I don't hold back my pee for one wetting. By the time I went to bed a few hours later, my diaper wasn't soaked to capacity but I didn't want to fall asleep in it so I went in for a change.

In the past when I've worn diapers overnight, my morning erection has presented a problem: instead of being able to lie in bed and pee in the morning, I would have to get up and readjust my little friend so he was pointing in the appropriate direction. After reading through the famous 12-month guide, however, I was now prepared to solve this little dilemma. For my overnight diaper, I made the leg tapes tight but also tightened the waist tapes so that the top of the diaper didn't leave very much room at all.

It worked! I woke up this morning and my penis was pointing straight down. I was able to lie down on my stomach while checking e-mail on my phone and pee. It was pretty blissful.

Within a few hours after waking up, I had to poop. Let's talk about poop. Like many DLs, my primary focus as a teenager was wetting. I tried pooping but the cleanup was untenable and the smell was annoying. More recently, I've begun pooping in diapers again, attempting little sporadic day-long stretches in diapers. Let's just say that it's grown on me as the cleanup has become more routine. Spending several days in diapers might change that but we'll see, won't we?

For me, the psychological effect of knowing that I have to be in diapers constantly makes the nuisance of cleanup worthwhile. If I knew I could go take my diapers off to poop and put them right back on, the feeling of lack of control would not be as consistent nor as pressing. So, while it's not my favorite part of the diapered experience, it's necessary for me to commit to the 24/7 experience.

On a related note, a few days ago I tried using a glycerin suppository to simulate what it might feel like to lose bowel control. It was an interesting experience and I'm eager to try it again. When I used it the first time, I definitely felt irritated but still felt like I was the one making the conscious decision to let it go. When I did poop, I could still see some of the suppository which had me worried that it didn't dissolve all the way. The next time I try it, I'm going to pop it in as I'm going to sleep and see if I wake up messing myself which would be an awesome feeling. I might try that as soon as tonight.

But back to the journal account. Because I had made my diaper so tight the night before, pooping in my overnight diaper this morning made for a particularly un-fun cleanup. In the future, I should probably re-fasten the tapes after I get out of bed so the poop has some more room. I took a shower afterwards and changed into a fresh S2 which I have on right now. My Tranquility ATNs arrive on Saturday, at which point I might put them in the mix. For now, though it's S2s. Also, my cleanup this morning used the last of my Pampers wipes so I'm going to have to pick some up while I'm out today.

If you feel like commenting, you can provide tips, share reactions, or leave notes of encouragement. I'm not committing to going 24/7 full-time but I do want to see how long I can last, so having supporters will help me with that. Thanks for reading!