Thursday, June 7, 2012

Back

Just wanted to drop this quick note to let you know that, as of 7:40 AM on June 7th, I am back in the saddle again. And, by saddle, I mean a trusty Abena Abri-Form S2. This will mark the start of my 6-day attempt and there'll be a full post tomorrow morning with the details for Day 1.

First diaper of my second attempt.

Restarting?

Since almost 1,000 of you have come to look at my blog (or at least one of you has come here 1,000 times), I feel somewhat responsible to let you know what became of my 24/7 attempt.

I knew going into it that it wouldn't last forever, that I would never be 24/7 full-time. At the same time, I was expecting to last more than three days.

Honestly, I was not in the best emotional place at the end of the third day and as I went to change before going to bed, I decided to put the diapers on the shelf instead. There were nuisances about being 24/7 for sure. Messing requires a lot of extra work, for one. Temperature control and awkward social interactions are added obstacles. But, even all of those things added up didn't cause me to temporarily quit my 24/7 attempt.

To be able to handle those obstacles, I just needed to be happier than I was three days ago. I'm starting to get back into a place where I think I can handle it again. Instead of going 24/7 for an indefinite amount of time, I think I'd like to set a more realistic goal for this blog. Let me explain.

I made it for 72 hours on my first attempt. I'd like to double the length of my attempts each time but I will take breaks in between the attempts. When I'm on an attempt, I will still post nightly. When I'm off, I will post little entries like this one explaining where I'm at with diapers.

This means that my next attempt will be 6 days, then 12 days, then 24 days, then 48 days. I can't imagine going much longer than 48 days at the moment so I'm just going to re-assess if I ever get that far.

Of course, receiving comments (thank you, Joe!) will motivate me to make and write about these attempts. In the future, if this blog acquires a larger readership, I could foresee including some sort of interactive element where commenters can prolong the time I spend in diapers. Let me know what you all think.

For now, I'm targeting Monday, June 11th as the start of my 6-day run. But I might start sooner. Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Day 3

Tools of the trade: Abena Abri-Form S2s
Day 3:
1:30 AM on June 2nd - 1:30 AM on June 3rd

The Day in Diapers:
Number of changes: 5
Status at change time: wet, wet/messy, wet, wet/messy, wet
Estimated cost for the day: $5.06
Kinds of diapers used: 4 Tranquility ATNs and one Abena Abri-Form S2

Journal:
I'm settling into a routine.

I had to change once before bedtime into a dry Tranquility ATN (which stands for All Through the Night for those not in the know). True to its name, I wore it all through the night. Like I mentioned yesterday, I think I prefer them to the Abenas but I am right on the upper limit of the small size and I'm thinking mediums would be a better fit.

As usual, I had to mess in the morning and the Tranquility ATN handled that situation adequately. Cleanup was less arduous than past days but I, of course, felt like I needed a shower afterwards anyway.

I spent the rest of the day in Tranquility ATNs and, as I suspected, their better odor control makes it much more pleasant to sit in them until they're used to capacity. This means less diapers per day and therefore less cost over time. These are the kinds of things that people who are doing this full-time must have to grapple with. Before I started this experiment, a diaper was a diaper. All I cared about was that it was white, fluffy, crinkly and that I could pee in it. But now I'm starting to become a diaper connoisseur, reading about things like wicking, absorbency in mL, odor control, tape style, etc. The differences can be substantial and different diapers seem better suited for different purposes. If I did this full-time it seems like I'd need to have a bunch of different brands in my collection.

The only complication today was that I had to mess again in the afternoon. The first two days I only had to mess once in the morning before I showered. Today, I had to mess and I didn't want to shower again so I cleaned up really well and got back into a dry Tranquility ATN. It makes you really resent your body's digestive system, huh? It would be nice if I could count on just the one morning cleanup. It might even be worth all the time it saves in pee trips to the bathroom! But then you've gotta go number two in the middle of the day and it can really bring you down.

Observations:
*Today was a weird and ambivalent day. There were moments where this almost felt completely normal. "This is just my underwear now," I would think. "I pee in it but it's just my new underwear." And then there were moments where I was sure this would be the last day. Who knows? I'll have to change again before I go to bed tonight and the temptation is getting pretty great to just take it off, clean up and fall asleep in boxer shorts again. But still, I'll probably look at that nice stack of fluffy white diapers and think, "Why not?" If you're following this blog (and a few of you are) I guess you'll find out tomorrow night.

*I feel weird when I wake up after sleeping through the night in a diaper. I'm worried about temperature control. I might need to find a thinner, cooler diaper for overnight but I'd have to change out of it in the morning for sure. Then again, if I get too used to this, I might need a thicker diaper for overnight in case I have an accident after this experiment concludes.

*I know a few hundred people found my blog on the first day. I'm hoping at least a few of you check back. I know it takes blogs months to find an audience but if you're reading this now, this is an ongoing process, and I would really love to have your feedback, comments, suggestions and encouragement. You can comment anonymously! For those of you who fantasize about going 24/7, I'm hoping that this blog can be an honest exploration of what it can be like to put those fantasies to the test. For those of you who are 24/7 by choice, I'm hoping that this blog can inspire nostalgia for your first steps and I invite your suggestions. For those of you who are incontinent, I'm hoping that, by doing this blog, I'll come to a greater understanding of your situation.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Day 2

Day 2:
1:30 AM on June 1st - 1:30 AM on June 2nd

The Day in Diapers:
Number of changes: 6
Status of diapers at change time: wet, wet, wet/messy, wet, wet, wet
Estimated cost for the day: $6.50
Kinds of diapers used: 3 Depends Maximum Protection, One Abena Abri-Form S2, Two Tranqulity ATNS

Journal:
Before I went to bed last night, I spent some time in a Depends just to breathe a little bit before I strapped into an Abena for overnight. Like I did on the first day, I did the tapes on the Abena so that I could wake up still "pointing down" and it worked again. So it seems like I have solved that problem pretty definitively. For men who actually have no bladder control, that must be a serious problem.

The day itself was largely uneventful. My Tranquility ATNs came early, so that was a surprise. As I expected, they have much better odor control than the Abenas which is necessary for me when I try to get the most out of each diaper. The fit was a little tight, though, so I'm thinking I'll move up to a medium after I burn through the bag of smalls.

I had to wear some Depends because I was out with a friend for dinner tonight and both the Abenas and the Tranquilities are far too crinkly for me to move around in without someone noticing I have a diaper on. How do 24/7 people do it? Do all their friends know that they wear? I had to covertly change a Depends in the bathroom but, other than that, they worked fine for some little wettings.

When I got home, I changed right back into a fresh Tranquility ATN which I'm still in as I write this post. I feel like I'm starting to settle into a routine.

Observations:
*I'm much more attuned now to my body's digestive processes. In the past, I haven't really paid much attention to when I go. Now I'm starting to notice the patterns namely, needing to mess about 1 hour after waking up. Sorry if that's too much information.

*It seems like I'll burn through about 6 diapers a day going 24/7. That would mean that a month of diapers would probably cost me around $200 all told. Finances might prevent me from going that long. It's staggering to think about that cost over years of my life. This must be why people do cloth diapers.

*At around 11 PM tonight, I had my first thought of giving up. I realize I'm only 2 days in but I just felt like throwing in the towel right then. If you're out there and you're reading this blog (and I know from my traffic reports that many of you are), then leave me a comment, question or note of encouragement. Right now, I'll be happy if I can make it to a week.